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A Million Ways to Die in the West by Seth MacFarlane

By Seth MacFarlane

From the writer of Family Guy and director of Ted comes a hilarious first novel that reinvents the Western.

Mild-mannered sheep farmer Albert Stark is bored stiff with the tough lifetime of the yank frontier, the place it sort of feels every thing and something can kill you: Duels at excessive midday. Barroom brawls. toxic snakes. Cholera-infected ingesting water. Tumbleweed abrasion. anything known as "toe-foot." Even a visit to the outhouse. convinced, there are one million how one can die within the wild, wild West, and Albert plans to prevent all of them. a few humans imagine that makes him a coward. Albert calls it good judgment. but if his female friend dumps him for the main unbearable man on the town, Albert makes a decision to struggle back—even notwithstanding he can't shoot, journey, or throw a punch. thankfully, he groups up with a stunning gunslinger who's tricky sufficient for the either one of them. regrettably, she's married to the largest, meanest, such a lot jealous bad-ass at the frontier. seems Albert has simply chanced on one million and one how one can die within the West.

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That's a good story," she said after a while. "It isn't mine. Domino Vitale tells that story to James Bond in Thunderball. " He also remembered that the ship, the Palestine, had spent a month and a half blockaded in Ras Tanura, in the midst of an international crisis, with the planks of the deck burning beneath a vicious sun and the crew flat in their bunks, suffocated by heat and boredom. The Palestine was a bad luck ship, one of those where the men turn hostile and hate each other and lines get tangled.

Ponytail s hand froze, its rings glittering in the light, his mouth open to say something to the woman... or maybe because he didn't know where this character in the navy-blue jacket and sneakers had come from, with his sturdy shoulders and wide, hard hands hanging at either side with feigned casualness, fingers at the side seams of his well-worn jeans. " said the man with die ponytail. He had a slight, unrecognizable accent, something between Andalusian and foreign. He stared at Coy, surprised and curious, as if trying unsuccessfully to place him.

That was his second mistake. It was at odds with any sailor's common sense, which counseled maintaining sea room at any cost, or danger ahead. THE man with the gray ponytail looked furious. At first Coy couldn't hear what he was saying because he was talking in a low voice. He did, however, observe that one hand was raised, with a finger pointing at the woman, who was standing stock-still, facing him. Then the finger moved, jabbing her shoulder with more anger than violence, and she retreated a step, as if frightened.

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